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Emile's Apartment Door is [[open]].Emile's <<onceover "apartment">> is a [[wreck]].The window is open, the lamp is on the floor. Someone took the curtains, and the fridge is empty. The place has been <<prev "picked clean">>.You [[call out]], knowing that there will be no response. Not when things are <<onceover "like this">>.You've fought with Emile before. He's not the type to stick around. He always storms off without a word.
He wouldn't stay here if he'd been robbed, <<prev "or worse">>.<span id="drug-next"><<display $drug[0]>></span>[[Leave|call out]].It's chaos in here too, except with more <<onceover "paper">>. Everything but his <<onceover "bed">> seems untouched. Clothes hang in the closet, and his purple jacket is still slung across the chair at his [[computer desk]].White sheets of paper are pinned like butterflies to every wall in clean arrays. Each is scrawled with wild hand-writing.
@@.tangle;You <<click "read">><<replace .posterboard>><div class='posterboard'><<for _i = 0; _i < $numPapers; _i++>><div class='paper'><<= $screams.random()>></div><</for>></div><</replace>><</click>> through <<cyclinglink "$numPapers" "3" "6" "12">> of the sheets of paper on the walls.@@
<div class='posterboard'><<for _i = 0; _i < $numPapers; _i++>><div class='paper'><<= $screams.random()>></div><</for>></div>
It's all nonsense and no matter how many of them you read, there's always one more. That's Emile for <<prev "you">>.You were supposed to meet [[this morning]].You check the bathroom first, to see if his pills are still there. No one would take his pills: they're not valuable unless you've got a <<if not hasVisited("condition")>>[[condition]].<<else>>condition.
He probably didn't skip town. He needs those pills.
You open the door to his [[bedroom]].<<endif>>It's empty.
<<rx $tesDet $drug>>The stale incense smells so good.
<<rx $attDet $drug>>Only one's been fried.
<<rx $depDet $drug>>Very worrisome.
@@.tangle;<div class = 'rx'><<if $spiroclick == true>><<textflip $spiDet 0>><<else>><<linkreplace "EMILE SANTOS" t8n>><<set $spiroclick = true>><<textflip $spiDet 0>><</linkreplace>><</if>><span class = "date"><<textflip $spiDet 1>></span>
<div class="dosage"><<textflip $spiDet 2>>
<<textflip $spiDet 3>> <<textflip $spiDet 4>>
<<textflip $spiDet 5>></div>RX <<click $spiDet[0][6]>><<replace "#drug-next">><<loopnext $drug>><<display $drug[0]>><</replace>><</click>></div>@@<<silently>><<widget "onceover">><<set _l = $args[0]>><<if $args[1]>><<set _b = $args[1]>><<if $args[2]>><<set _a = $args[2]>><<else>><<set _a = _b>><</if>><<else>><<set _b = _l>><<set _a = _l>><</if>><<if (hasVisited(_l) && hasVisited(passage())) || $alienated == true>>_a<<else>>@@.tangle;[[_b|_l]]@@<</if>><</widget>><</silently>><<silently>><<widget "prev">><<if $args[0]>><<set _t = $args[0]>>[[_t|previous()]]<<else>>[[previous()]]<</if>><</widget>><</silently>>Pillows propped against the headboard. Cookie box on the bed-stand, unopened. Sheets are a <<prev "mess">>.The screen is covered with flashing daggers of white, pink, and blue, like the video card has gone bad, which isn't too surprising. This is //Emile// you're talking about, and he's never taken good care of [[his things]].You try to make out what he was working on, beneath the glaring, glitched out mess. All you can see are snippets of angular letters. You briefly consider the possibility that he might be gone <<onceover "forever">>. You wonder if your [[snooping]] is a sin.
That's not a comforting thought.Emile has left a void in his absence. There is a <<onceover "black ball">> suspended in the air over his bed.
You take comfort in the smell of his [[jacket]] pressed to your face. You can almost see hear him roll over on the bed, as he flips through pages that detail the proper techniques for <<onceover "ectoplasm retrieval">>.
You cling to the jacket tighter.You tunnel your arms through the cavernous sleeves, and hug it tight to your body. You [[miss]] him.You zip up the jacket, and look around the room. If he does come back, the <<onceover "Monitors">> will know that he's broken. They'll edit him and put him back to work, and then he'll never be your friend [[again]].Praise be to the angels that keep us <<prev "safe">>.You leave his apartment, with door hung off its hinges. You should report this to your <<onceover "Screenist">>.
He'll learn that Emile is gone sooner or later, and when he does it would be easier if he found out [[from you]].Praise be the priestess of our <<prev "salvation">>.<<silently>>/% this is the template that generates prescription labels. Argument 0 is a two-dimensional array containing before and after text. %/
<<widget "rx">><<set _rx = $args[0]>><<set _loop = $args[1]>><div class = 'rx'><<textflip _rx 0>><span class = "date"><<textflip _rx 1>></span>
<div class="dosage"><<textflip _rx 2>>
<<textflip _rx 3>> <<textflip _rx 4>>
<<textflip _rx 5>></div>RX @@.tangle;<<click _rx[0][6]>><<replace "#drug-next">><<loopnext _loop>><<display _loop[0]>><</replace>><</click>>@@</div><</widget>>
<</silently>><<nobr>>
<<silently>>/% used in rx Template, to create a linkreplace that stays replaced upon subsequent page visits. Argument 0 is a 2-dimensional array containing before & after text, and argument 1 is the index of the item to be text-flipped %/
<<widget "textflip">>@@.tangle;<<set _array = $args[0]>><<set _i = $args[1]>><<set _bef = _array[0][_i]>><<set _aft = _array[1][_i]>><<if _bef != _aft>><<linkreplace _bef t8n>><<set _i = $args[1]>><<set _aft = _array[1][_i]>>_aft<<set _array[0][_i] = _aft>><</linkreplace>><<else>>_bef<</if>>@@<</widget>>
<</silently>>
<</nobr>><<nobr>>
<<silently>> /% this is a widget to remove an item from the fromt of an array, and place it at the end %/
<<widget "loopnext">>
<<set _arr = $args[0]>>
<<set _arr = _arr.push(_arr.shift())>>
<</widget>>
<</silently>>
<</nobr>>The stairwell is dark, as you descend. Your feet hit smoke-stained tile, and you push through screeching double doors, onto roadkill-paved streets.
The [[daylight]] is <<onceover "searing bright">>.You're <<linkreplace "last" t8n>><<linkreplace "fourth" t8n>><<linkreplace "third" t8n>><<linkreplace "second" t8n>>first<<replace "#make-order">><<display "make order">><</replace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>> in line.<span id="make-order"></span>Praise be the vessels of our <<prev "sin">>.Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. You can't go out into the city without your <<prev "boots">>.
Does @@.tangle;<<cyclinglink "$drink" "mocha-gel" "caramel camerate" "chilled silicon bisque" "drizzle juice" "iced cherry sewage">> sound good?@@
What would you [[like]]?Ahhh, much [[better]].You feel the thick sludge fill your chest and your gut. By the time it has seeped into your skin, you feel fresh and rejuvenated. Emile is so far away, which may in fact be a result of his disappearing forever, but your grief seems far away too.
You pay the <<onceover "Monitor">> behind the counter, and she buries your <<onceover "priceless identities">> into the [[register]].Her screen is cracked, and behind it, her eyes split into a million kaleidoscopic <<prev "shards">>.You leave the coffee shop, free to go about the rest of your day however you like. You decide @@.tangle;<<cyclinglink "$try" "to" "not to">>@@ call your Screenist, on the walk [[home]].You sell yourself to make ends meet. Little pieces of your being are scattered throughout the city, and you like to think that, in a way, you have become the <<prev "city itself">>.You see a flock of <<onceover "swan-lasses">> bickering over crumbs on the awning of a hotel.
<<if $try == "to">>You call <<blockreplace "|him~him." "The conversation is|brief~brief." "You tell him how good your $drink|tasted~tasted," "and he asks you where it|came from~came from." "You tell him about the bistro near Emile's|apartment~apartment." "You've mentioned it before;|he remembers~he remembers." "He asks you about|Emile~Emile." "\n\nYou tell him that you haven't seen|Emile" "since|yesterday~yesterday." "\"Good,\" he|says~says." "You're not|so sure~so sure it's good at all." "\n\nHe says \"@@.thread;[[hmm...]]@@\" for a very long time, but then he thanks you for your diligence, and hangs up the phone">><<else>>Life is easier when you don't sweat the details. Your Screenist doesn't need to know about Emile, at least not today. In fact, this is the healthy course of action; you are sorting through your grief independently and in a way that has been codified as [[appropriate]].
You decide that today would be perfect for a visit to the park<</if>>.Their long, slender necks are perfect for lunging and pecking at passers-by. Two appear to be in a quarrel over a piece of toast. Such graceful <<prev "pests">>.<<set $selfcare += 1>>This does not inspire you with confidence, but you have done the right thing, and that is enough.
You decide that today would be perfect for a visit to the [[park|appropriate]].The walk home is hurried.
You see your apartment building up ahead, and you anticipate the cold bronze handles on the door, before they are actually in your hands. And then they are in your hands, and you can feel them leeching the warmth from your [[body]].
You step inside.The park is <<onceover "salamander" "quiet">>. The trees are sagging in the fresh summer heat.
You have every [[confidence]] that things will get better. You pace through the grass long enough to set your mind at ease.It's dark, but you know this path by heart.
There are no lights in the lobby, nor in the stairwell. Each creaking step is the next guide [[up]].<<climb $floors "Up, up, up, and ever darker as you travel further from the watchful eyes of the streets. Deeper into the warm concrete womb of your @@.thread;[[tower]]@@.\n\n">>Your body floats over the steps, and through the darkness until you reach a landing where in the corner of your eye, there's [[light]].It's warm and glows from underneath your doorframe. The light reflects crimson off of carpet that is black beneath your feet.
You let your body follow the beaten path to your [[apartment door]].<<nobr>>
<<silently>>/% Using an array and an end value, this generates a series of linkreplace macros that leave behind their link text, and place a new linkreplace above the old link text. %/
<<widget "climb">><<set _arr = $args[0]>><<set _end = $args[1]>><<set _l = _arr.shift()>><<linkreplace _l t8n>><<if _arr.length > 0>>@@.tangle;<<set _p = _l>><<climb _arr _end>><<= _p>>@@<<else>>_end _l<</if>><</linkreplace>><</widget>>
<</silently>>
<</nobr>>The door melts open in your hands, and your apartment slumps out before you. The living room is <<onceover "disarray" "in a state of disarray" "sparkling and neat">>, <<onceover "dishes" "dishes" "soap suds">> fill the kitchen sink, the TV in the corner [[flickers]] and casts shadows across the floor.You straighten out <<blockreplace "the throw pillows" "and|the coffee table" "and|the carpet" "and|the lamp" "and|the throw pillows" "and|the coffee table" "and|the carpet" "and|the lamp" "and|the throw pillows" "and|the coffee table" "and|the carpet" "and|the lamp" "and|the throw pillows" "and|the coffee table" "and|the carpet" "and|the lamp~the lamp." "\n\nAll @@.thread;[[done|apartment door][$den='clean']]@@">><<set $selfcare += 1>>.@@.tangle;<<linkflip $dishes "@@.thread;All [[done|apartment door][$kitchen = 'clean']]@@.">><<set $selfcare += 1>>@@Mixed in with the snow, in the center of the @@.tangle;[[screen]]@@ the TV says @@color:red;''$messages[0]''@@.
You need to take your [[meds]].<<widget "linkflip">><<set _arr = $args[0]>><<set _end = $args[1]>><<set _l = _arr.shift()>><<linkreplace "_l" t8n>><<if _arr.length % 2 == 0>><<if _arr.length > 0>><<set _p = _l>><<linkflip _arr _end>><<= _p>><<else>>_end _l<</if>><<else>><<set _p = _l>><<= _p>><<linkflip _arr _end>><</if>><</linkreplace>><</widget>><<loopnext $messages>>Your TV has been on the <<onceover "fritz">> lately.
You flick it [[off|flickers]]. <<loopback $messages>>Your Screenist wants you to have it repaired; he thinks it would improve your projected lifespan prior to <<prev "obselescence">>, but you're fond of the charm. Your TV reminds you of Emile.<span id="drug-next"><<display $med[0]>></span> | [[Look away|checkin]].<<set $drug to ["testregg", "deprexxor", "attenolene", "spirolatox a"]>>
<<set $tesDet to [["EMILE SANTOS", "31/10/22", "TESTREGG 2MG TABLETS", "TAKE", "3 TABLETS BY", "MOUTH ONCE DAILY", "3710174-08165"],["friend", "a few months ago", "pills to make the nightmares stop", "consume", "an unusually high dose", "religiously", ""]]>>
<<set $depDet to [["EMILY SANTOS", "01/01/23", "DEPREXXOR 3TB CIRCUITPADS", "INTEGRATE", "1 CIRCUITPAD BY", "NECKPORT ONCE WEEKLY", "4404239-67238"], ["a misspelling", "yesterday", "circuitry in neat packages", "i would", "never use them", "chipsets make you numb", ""]]>>
<<set $attDet to [["EMILE SANTOS", "11/11/22", "ATTENOLENE 10CM AROMATICS", "IGNITE &", "INHALE THE VAPORS", "OF 1 CONE TWICE DAILY", "1432664-77952"], ["that's better", "nice", "incense in perfect steeples", "breathe in", "the sickly sweet air", "it's good for you", ""]]>>
<<set $spiDet to [["ASTRID STOON", "24/12/22", "SPIROLATOX 90ML PHYLACTERY", "APPLY", "1ML DIRECTLY TO TONGUE", "ONCE DAILY", "4566632-87778"], ["is this mine?", "when did he get this?", "very dangerous", "hold", "it between your hands", "and curse it. fill it with emptiness from every drop you take.", ""]]>>
<<set $screams to ["help.", "helP ME, PLEASE", "She's Here", "SHE'S INSIDE", "GET HER OUT OF ME", "a ghost is inside", "she whispers", "THE MIND IS MEAT AND WATER", "flesh is flesh is flesh is flesh is flesh", "HELP ME.", "make it stop", "stop", "glass threads sewn through velvet","Regulative Bloodstream, Figurative Memory", "Let It End", "CALM DOWN", "iamachild", "How Dare They? How Dare They?", "I Wish I Was Something Else", "make it go away", "make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop", "I just need to get away.", "it will all be okay it will all be okay it will all be", "forever forever forever forever", "Kill Her", "Kill Us Both"]>>
<<set $drink to "iced cherry sewage">>
<<set $selfcare = 0>>
<<set $try = "not to">>
<<set $floors = ["one", "two", "three", "four", "five", "six", "seven", "eight", "nine", "ten", "eleven", "twelve", "thirteen", "fourteen", "fifteen", "sixteen", "seventeen"]>>
<<for _i = 0; _i < $floors.length; _i++>><<set $floors[_i] = "Floor " + $floors[_i] + "...\n">><</for>>
<<set $dishes = ["Water", "Soap", "Sponge", "Rag", "Water", "Soap", "Sponge", "Rag", "Water", "Soap", "Sponge", "Rag", "Water", "Soap", "Sponge", "Rag", "Water", "Soap", "Sponge", "Rag", "Water", "Soap", "Sponge", "Rag", "Water"]>>
<<for _i = 0; _i < $dishes.length; _i++>>
<<if _i % 4 == 0 || _i % 4 == 1>><<set _f = "right">><<else>><<set _f = "left">><</if>><<set _p = "<div style='float: " + _f + ";'>">><<set _s = ".</div>">>
<<set $dishes[_i] = _p + $dishes[_i] + _s + "\n">>
<</for>>
<<set $kitchen = "unclean">>
<<set $den = "unclean">>
<<set $messages = ["Help", "A", "Ghost", "Is", "Inside", "Of", "Me"]>>
<<set $med to ["progestel", "cyprolexin", "welstrace", "spirolatox b", "visinor"]>>
<<set $proDet to [["ASTRID STOON", "24/12/22", "PROGESTEL 30MG CAPSULES", "BREAK", "2 CAPSULES INTO", "WATER ONCE DAILY", "4804101-78432"],["me", "a week ago", "emergent personality suppressants", "shatter", "the ground and sky", "fall forever upward", ""]]>>
<<set $cypDet to [["ASTRID STOON", "24/12/22", "CYPROLEXIN 10S GENE-MODS", "INJECT INTO THIGH", "2 GENE SEQUENCES", "FIVE TIMES DAILY", "7573212-52519"], ["me", "a week ago", "over-the-counter gene therapy", "let it", "into your deepest channels", "let it consume you", ""]]>>
<<set $welDet to [["ASTRID STOON", "24/12/22", "WELSTRACE 3R ARRAYS", "ALIGN", "3 RUNES OVERHEAD", "FOR 5 MINUTES ONCE DAILY", "5593921-19382"], ["me", "a week ago", "anxiety containment arrays", "block out", "the prying eyes", "of the ghosts at your back", ""]]>>
<<set $sprDet to [["EMILY SANTOS", "25/11/22", "SPIROLATOX 30ML PHYLACTERY", "APPLY", "1ML DIRECTLY TO TONGUE", "TWICE WEEKLY", "6642366-75217"], ["me", "a week and a month ago", "very dangerous", "hold", "it between your hands", "and curse it. fill it with emptiness from every drop you take.", ""]]>>
<<set $visDet to [["ASTRID STOON", "24/12/22", "VISINOR DISPOSABLE LENSES", "INSERT", "2 LENSES INTO EYES", "ONCE MONTHLY", "4404239-67238"], ["me", "a week ago", "hallucination reductive contacts", "blot out", "spectres of the surreal", "until all that's left is real", ""]]>>
<<set $medsTaken = []>>Thin syringes packed into an orange phial.
<<rx $cypDet $med>>
@@.tangle;<<if $medsTaken.includes($med[0])>>Good job<<else>><<linkreplace "Inject" t8n>><<linkreplace "You Can Do It" t8n>> <<linkreplace "Even If It's Scary" t8n>>A small pinprick dots your thigh. Your skin is as smooth as latex<<set $medsTaken.push($med[0])>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</if>>.@@Bright blue capsules, missing a few doses.
<<rx $proDet $med>>
@@.tangle;<<if $medsTaken.includes($med[0])>>You still feel light and airy<<else>><<linkreplace "Imbibe" t8n>>You float for a moment<<set $medsTaken.push($med[0])>><</linkreplace>><</if>>.@@Glowing glyphs on clear glass panes.
<<rx $welDet $med>>
@@.tangle;<<if $medsTaken.includes($med[0])>>It's better to be invisible<<else>><<linkreplace "Alight" t8n>>You hate the way they stare<<set $medsTaken.push($med[0])>><</linkreplace>><</if>>.@@A nearly full silver phylactery.
<<rx $sprDet $med>>
@@.tangle;<<if $medsTaken.includes($med[0])>>Full Up. Time for a new one<<else>><<linkreplace "Extract" t8n>>The dissonance shrinks<<set $medsTaken.push($med[0])>><</linkreplace>><</if>>.@@The pack hasn't been <<onceover "opened">>.
<<rx $visDet $med>>
@@.tangle;<<if $medsTaken.includes($med[0])>>Everything is so clear<<else>><<linkreplace "Insert" t8n>>Hard shadows fade from the edges of your vision<<set $medsTaken.push($med[0])>><</linkreplace>><</if>>.@@<<set $selfcare += $medsTaken.length>>That's enough. Your thoughts are straying to Emile and work.
You close the medicine cabinet and go to [[your room]].You've been wearing the last pair for an extra week. They are <<prev "durable">>.It's dark when you enter, but orderly. Your Screenist is <<onceover "adamant">> in regards to the purpose of bedrooms. He's adamant in regards to the purpose of most everything, which is why he has been assigned to [[you]]."<<linkreplace "Astrid," t8n>>Astrid, have you been eating in <<linkreplace 'bed?"' t8n>>bed?"
<<linkreplace '<span style="float: right;">"No."</span>' t8n>><span style="float: right;">"No."</span>
"<<prev "Good">>."<</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><<nobr>>
<<silently>>/% Using an array and an end value, this generates a series of linkreplace macros that leave behind their link text, and place a new linkreplace below the old link text. %/
<<widget "slope">><<set _arr = $args[0]>><<set _end = $args[1]>><<set _l = _arr.shift()>><<linkreplace _l t8n>><<if _arr.length > 0>><<set _p = _l>>_p<<slope _arr _end>><<else>><<= _l>><<= _end>><</if>><</linkreplace>><</widget>>
<</silently>>
<</nobr>>A [[problem case]].It's not that you try to make trouble for the <<onceover "Monitors">>. It's just that they <<onceover "demand">> so much. It's easier to get distracted by [[haunted hospitals]], than abide by all the rules.You sit on your bed. Your room is more or less tidy. There are <<onceover "snacks">> on the nightstand. Beautiful <<onceover "wall-hangings">> adorn every inch of wall space in which they can fit. You take off Emile's jacket and you fold it over your arm. You pull it up to your face, and inhale deeply of the [[smell]]."Beloved, my sweetest <<linkreplace 'Astrid."' t8n>>Astrid, they say you have been <<linkreplace 'noncompliant."' t8n>>noncompliant. Is this <<linkreplace 'true?"' t8n>>true?"<<linkreplace '<span class="dialog right">"Tell her yes."</span>' t8n>><span class="dialog right">"Tell her yes."</span><<linkreplace '<span class="dialog center">"Yes, Mother."</span>' t8n>><span class="dialog center">"Yes, Mother."</span>"Oh, <<prev "Darling">>, what shall we do with you?"<</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>>It's musty with the scent of Emile's sweat, on account of the fact that he never takes the thing off. Wherever he disappeared to, if he's even alive, he must be missing this jacket something awful.
You miss //him//. You breathe [[deep]].You let the jacket fall limp in your hands. You are tired. You feel <<if $medsTaken.length == 5>>[[jittery]]<<elseif $medsTaken.length >= 3 >>[[dizzy]]<<elseif $medsTaken.length >= 1>>[[woozy]]<<elseif $medsTaken.length == 0>>so incredibly [[numb]]<</if>>.It smells like @@.tangle;<<cyclinglink "fresh baked bread" "dry summer-grass" "a rocksalt beach" "mud in the woods" "hot rain on asphalt">>@@. It smells like [[safety]].You have a garden of heavenly delights grown straight from your nightstand.
Murton's Ooey Gooey Chocolate Chewies.
Murton's Fruit Dazzlers.
Murton's Krunch Barz.
You are beholden to no other <<prev "holy trinity">>.Your walls are adorned with rectangular canvases coated in <<blockreplace "blue, red, and green~blue, green," "red, yellow, and purple~yellow, purple," "orange, pink, and red~orange, and pink." "The colors are split by jagged black lines.\n\nYou made these, and they're the first clutch of your many thousands of hatchlings, now. You keep them because they are ugly, and you think that makes them @@.thread;<<prev 'beautiful'>>">>.Your hands are shaking. This day has been too much. You move to your desk, and check your <<onceover "blistr">> account. You are [[dizzy]].Your mouth is dry. Your eyelids are drooping. You move to your bed, and check your bank statement. Nothing [[good|woozy]].Your brain is heavy and wet. You cry, but only for long enough that you're done before the first tear reaches your lips. You feel a breeze from the <<onceover "window">> brush hair across your [[forehead|numb]].The darkness swallows you [[whole]].<<nobr>>
<<silently>> /% this is a widget to remove an item from the end of an array, and place it at the front %/
<<widget "loopback">>
<<set _arr = $args[0]>>
<<set _arr = _arr.unshift(_arr.pop())>>
<</widget>>
<</silently>>
<</nobr>><<nobr>>
<<silently>>
<<widget "propcycle">>@@.tangle;<span id="propcycle">
<<set _arr = $args>>
<<set _p = _arr.shift()>>
<<= '<<set $' + _p + ' = _arr[0]>>'>>
<<set _arr.push(_arr.shift())>>
<<click _arr[0]>>
<<set _m = '<<propcycle "' + _p + '"'>>
<<for _i = 0; _i < _arr.length; _i++>>
<<set _m = _m + ' "' + _arr[_i] + '"'>>
<</for>>
<<set _m = _m + '>>'>>
<<replace "#propcycle">>
<<= _m>><</replace>>
<</click>></span>@@<</widget>>
<</silently>>
<</nobr>>30,000 new likes.
72 new friend requests.
2 unread <<prev "messages">>.You drip into [[sleep]], and then into dreams.You leave the window cracked. You never did, before. But now that you're here, you like to feel the crispness of the alarms that ring across the towery.
The rooftop sirens, and the yellow-suited women who tend to them. There is no sound that <<prev "soothes">> you more.[[...]]There's a condemned hospital down the street. You've been monitoring its [[progress]]. But Emile never [[showed up|gone]].God doesn't take kindly to <<prev "deviance">>.It is glossy, smooth, and it hovers in the air just out of reach.
It doesn't belong to Emile, you think. It looks cold to the <<prev "touch">>.Ever since you were children, Emile believed in ghosts.
He was always afraid that one was coming to <<prev "get">> him, but he wouldn't say why.Balmy blue sky stretches like skin, punctured by the tops of towers that punch through the <<prev "clouds">>.A <<onceover "Hag">> stands on the corner, feasting on refuse, and you decide to walk the long way around. Discarded pill bottles crunch between the sidewalk and your <<onceover "boots">> until you reach the [[coffee shop]].A salamander creeps over a picnic table, and you blow her a kiss. She seems <<prev "delighted">>.<<silently>><<widget "blockreplace">><<nobr>>
<<set _arg = $args.flatten()>>
<<if _arg.length > 1>>
<<set _sarr = _arg.shift()>>
<<set _sarr = _sarr.split('\|')>>
<<if _sarr.length > 1>><<set _m = _sarr.shift()>><</if>>
<<set _sarr = _sarr.shift().split('~')>>
<<set _l = _sarr.shift()>>
<<if _sarr.length > 0>><<set _a = _sarr.pop()>>
<<else>><<set _a = _l>><</if>>
<<if _l.includes('~') == true>>
<<set _a = _l.split("~").pop()>>
<</if>>@@.tangle;<<if _m>><<= _m>> <</if>><<linkreplace _l t8n>>_a<<if _arg.length > 2>> <</if>><<blockreplace _arg>><</linkreplace>>@@<<else>>_arg[0]<</if>><</nobr>>@@<</widget>><</silently>><<if $alienated != true>>You're awake and <<onceover "sunlight">> floods through your window to lay heavily across your blankets. Your legs feel heavy.
<</if>>You had a dream. It was about Emile. Both of you were running, <<if $alienated != true>>though you don't know where or why. You might have been chasing him, or maybe [[something else]] was chasing you both.<<else>> and he was in front of you and he wouldn't look back. He was gasping for air like he'd been running for a @@.mistake;[[long time|something else]]@@.<</if>>The sun is square and yellow, and sits atop the water tower across the street to spy on you while you <<prev "awaken">>.<<if $alienated != true>>You have things you need to do today. You throw off the weight of sun and blankets and lie in bed for a [[while]].<<else>>You roll off the couch, and it's almost noon. How did that happen?
You remember feeling invigorated like you were coming up for air. Like you were a beast @@.mistake;[[unleashed|while]]@@.<</if>>Then you <<if $alienated != true>>lie in bed<<else>>stare at the door<</if>> for a <<if $alienated == true>>@@.mistake;[[while longer]]@@<<else>>[[while longer]]<</if>>.Then you're out of <<if $alienated != true>>bed<<else>><<removeclass "body" light>><<addclass "body" "apt">>the living room<</if>>. In motion. A <<if $alienated == true>>@@.mistake;[[blur]]@@<<else>>[[blur]]<</if>> of activity.<<if $alienated != true>><<set $focus = Math.ceil((6 - $medsTaken.length) / 2)>><<if hasVisited('sugary orbs') == false>>The next hour or so blurs past you.
One moment you're in <<blockreplace "the shower~the shower," "and the next you're drying out on the carpet in the|living room~living room." "One moment you're adjusting the ears on your|television~television," "and the next you're in the kitchen reveling in the crunch of <<onceover 'sugary orbs'>> between your @@.thread;[[teeth]]@@">><<else>>You're in the kitchen reveling in the crunch of sugary orbs between your [[teeth]]<</if>><<else>>The next hour or so blurs past you.
You need to get out of here. You need to leave this apartment behind, you need to run. You need to get far away. He's close.
You can hear his gnashing @@.mistake;[[teeth]]@@<</if>>.You gaze down <<if $alienated != true>>into the milk, streaked with flecks of green and pink. Rivers of debris that spin and twirl like smoke in a crystal ball.
You need to [[find him]]<<else>><<removeclass "body" "light">><<addclass "body" "dark">>down the flight of stairs with a mouth so wide it could swallow whole, and the heat of the building crushes your lungs. If you don't hurry, he'll catch you and tear you apart.
You were wrong. You don't need to find him. Sooner or later, he'll @@.mistake;[[find you]]@@<</if>>.Crunch, crunch, crunch. You can't start the day without a bowl of <<prev 'Rise'>> & <<prev 'Shine'>> Krispies.There's [[mail]] on the table.There's a letter from <<onceover "Mother Misery">>. It says you have not performed adequate service for this <<onceover "quarter">>. It says you'll need to pay your <<onceover "tithe">>, or forfeit your [[dwellings]].<<if $alienated != true>>Your <<onceover 'compartments'>> aren't fancy, but they're home. After losing Emile, you're not sure that you could <<onceover 'stand'>> to [[lose this place]] too. <<else>><<removeclass "body" "light">><<addclass "body" "street">>You <<blockreplace "|run~run." "\n\nYou beat the orange-sludge that coats the pavement with your|boots~boots." "The coffee shop moves past you with a wet|gasp~gasp." "The park slips by in a heave of your|fiery lungs~fiery lungs." "And then you're standing outside of his @@.mistake;[[building|lose this place]]@@">>.<</if>>She watches your home from a perch above the city. She can tell when you're late on your rent. She's <<prev "horrible">>. Emile has a crush on her.This month you owe <<blockreplace "|four-hundred Priceless Identities~four-hundred Priceless Identities," "and backpay of an|additional twelve-hundred~additional twelve-hundred." "If you are lucky you will be able to pay a @@.thread;<<prev 'fraction'>>@@ of what the Monitors demand">>. Next quarter the moon will be at its thickest in thirty-seven years. You'd like to go to the beach with your friends and <<prev "celebrate">> the event.<<if $alienated != true>>There is more mail.
<<if $focus > 0>>A letter from the <<blockreplace "the market~the market." "They want you to purchase a|line of credit~line of credit." "A letter from your aunt|back home~back home." "She wants to know if you'll visit for the|Spectre's Day Parade~Spectre's Day Parade." "\n\nYou don't want to think about @@.thread;[[that place|teeth][$focus -= 1]]@@">><<else>>But if you dig into it you'll lose track of what you're doing. You look at your milk dregs and spoon, and decide @@.tangle;<<cyclinglink "$try" "to" "not to">>@@ wash up before you move to the [[living room]]<</if>>.<<else>><<removeclass "body" "light">><<addclass "body" "dark">>The doors break between your calloused hands and the steps scream in agony as you race them upward.
You choke on spit that crawls down into your gut, and gaze up the hallway. The @@.mistake;[[door|living room]]@@.<</if>>Slumming on wormy couches owned by week-old friends, then leaving them forever. Being lost in this city is a blessing. There are <<onceover 'Hags'>> that want to devour you limbs-first, and there are Hags who want to feed you <<onceover 'potato soup'>>.
You clear the thoughts from [[your head|dwellings]].The tile is criss-crossed by slim blue and yellow lines. The oven is clean. The window chews on a view of the water tower, and the square sun pours light across the floor.
The word <<prev 'home'>> is inescapable.Hair made from bundles of bristle and wire. Long green snouts. Spindly arms swathed in gray rags. Ugly, sunken eyes wrapped in chain-link. Metal cages for skin and silver bells for bones.
"It's not pity," you tell yourself, "it's <<prev "guilt">>."<<if $alienated != true>><<if $try == "to">><<set $selfcare += 1>>Your hands soak, and the urgency of finding your lost friend gurgles down the drain with all the other scraps. All clean, all wrinkly.
You clap your hands to a job well done and walk. <</if>>The tile clicks beneath your toes and then you're standing on the living room carpet.
There is a <<onceover 'slimy angel'>> on the floor.
Your phone <<onceover 'buzzes'>> in your pocket.
There's a knock at [[the door]].<<else>>It's wide open, just as it was when you left it yesterday, all but <<onceover "untouched">>.
But the @@.mistake;[[living room|the door]]@@ is not the<<blockreplace "|same~same." "\n\n<<if $den == 'clean'>>It's //tidy//<<else>>It smells //good//<</if>>">>.<</if>><<if $medsTaken.length < 5>>You have medications left to [[take|meds]], but maybe it's time to [[retire]] anyway<<else>>The bathroom seems [[dingy|retire]] this late at night. Maybe it's the lightbulbs that gives everything a yellow cast. Maybe that's the Visinor.
It feels nostalgic<</if>>.<<if $alienated != true>>You take a deep breath.
[[Knock knock]]<<else>><<removeclass "body" "light">><<addclass "body" "apt">>You rush inside, and you're feeling sick to your stomach.
Your intestines tie themselves in @@.mistake;[[wedding knots|Knock knock]]@@<</if>>.<<blockreplace "You've never seen a Hag's|face before~face before." "It's cold and you you were kicked off the bus|thirty minutes ago~thirty minutes ago." "You found a dark entryway to an|old building~old building," "and that keeps out most of the wind, so long as you stay nestled in the|warmest corner~warmest corner." "\n\nYour winter coat helps, and so does the muck of broken|orange plastic~orange plastic." "It's so thickly sedimented here that the fragments run through your hands like|sand~sand." "The streetsweepers don't route through this neighborhood,|apparently~apparently." "\n\nYou've been asleep for maybe two minutes when you feel her breath on|your face~your face." "It's sickly sweet, and wreaks with the noxious perfume of|holy spirits~holy spirits." "Her nose is long and bent, and her mouth is a cavern of brown and jagged|glass shards~glass shards." "\n\nYou think for a moment that she looks angry, and the bells that fill her exposed chest cavity ring far|too loud~too loud." "\n\nThe thought clears from your mind in the same instant that she slumps down beside you, a rattle and a thud as her angular body meets the|concrete~concrete." "She's warm along your side, and in her hands she's peeling off the wrapper of an Almond Cruncher like|a banana~a banana." "It's in your hands, then it's in your mouth, and you're crying and the tears sting the cuts on your cheeks, and the chocolate is melting in @@.thread;[[your mouth|stand]]@@. She croaks that she likes your hair. She offers you her lip gloss">>.A text message from Bezzy. Ne wants to know what time you're going to come over for dinner.
You tell nem that you're not sure. Maybe six, if you're feeling up to it.
Plenty of <<prev "time">>.Where you lay to rest after your shower, millions of microscopic demons have congealed as they feast on the precious water and dust.
This one is kind of green, and is several minutes from sentience. Soon it will find the nearest open window to spread it's inky tendrils, and <<prev "fly away">>.<<if $alienated != true>>There are only so many people it could be. You can count your friends on one hand, and your named acquaintances on another.
It could be a Monitor in search of money. It could be Mother Misery herself, sick to death of waiting for your Screenist to report misbehaviors. It could be any of a long number of [[gruesome monsters]], and there's no way of knowing until you open up<<else>><<removeclass "body" "light">><<addclass "body" "apt">>The floor is wet, and someone has been in your home.
You blacked out again, and the ghost that haunts your apartment has been //touching// things. You can feel it.
Her friends have been here. You can smell the smog. You can //feel// the boring @@.mistake;[[wastes of space]]@@<</if>>.You approach the door and look out of the peephole, there's a girl rubbing her feet on your welcome mat.
You unlatch the <<blockreplace "first lock~first lock," "unbolt the|second~second," "and unhook the @@.thread;[[third]]@@">>.The door swings wide open, and she hugs you @@.tangle;<<cyclinglink "gingerly" "tightly" "off the ground">>@@.
It's <<onceover "Felicity">>, and yet again she's leaking purple and green fumes from under her skirt. They smell like [[strawberry]] candy."Astrid!" she says, and her words blow dandelion-puffs through the fumes that she emanates.
"@@.tangle;<<cyclinglink "Hi Felicity" "Hey Felicity" "Good morning, Felicity">>@@," you say.
"I'm glad you're okay," she croons.
"Should I [[not be]]?"She's pretty. Whenever you see her it's like she sucks up all the light in a room, and her darkness spreads out into the carpet. She absorbs your attention, and you watch her because she reminds you of yourself.
You harbor the sneaking suspicion that she is secretly a <<prev "murderer">>.Felicity frowns. She always talks to you like she's talking to someone else, and when you speak, its as if she expected a different voice.
"Yes," she says and she's still frowning, "Don't you watch [[the news]]?"
You look over at the television that drools static across your carpet. The word @@color:red;''$messages[0]''@@ is still illuminated in bright red.Felicity frowns. "Oh," she says.
You think that you should tell her about Emile, and that he's gone missing, but you don't. His name tastes @@.tangle;<<cyclinglink "wrong" "of acid" "sharp along every edge of your mouth, so liable to cut you">>@@.
"I've been [[busy]]," you say as if you do not see the TV.
"Well," she says, "Mother Misery's [[dead]]."
<<blockreplace "You don't believe that Mother Misery is dead. Either she can tell that you don't believe her, or she doesn't want to|argue~argue." "\n\n\"Bezzy wants to see you,\" Felicity says, and she is moving around your living room. You don't remember inviting her in, and yet she's on your couch and the living room smells entirely of|sugar~sugar." "\n\n\"Ne's making dinner tonight,\" Felicity|says~says." "\n\"I've told nem good things about you,\" she|says~says." "\n\n\"Like @@.thread;[[my name]]@@?\" you barely raise your voice above a <<onceover 'whisper'>>. Your throat might crack">>.<<blockreplace "Felicity smooths out her|skirt~skirt." "\"Ne thinks that Astrid is a beautiful name. Everyone does.\"\n\nYou fold your thumbs end over end, and Felicity puffs over to the|doorway~doorway." "Ne would really like it if you came to dinner, okay?\n\n\"Okay.\"\n\n@@.thread;[[Cool|Good]]@@">>.<<blockreplace "As Felicity fidgets with the locks on your door, you feel|close to her~close to her." "You feel as if you could|trust her~trust her." '\n\n"My Aunt sent me a letter," you|say~say.' '\n\n"You have an Aunt?" Felicity|says~says.' '\n\n"Well, Emile has an Aunt, but we\'ve been close since we were kids, so I kind of have an Aunt too," you explain. The truth is a little more complicated, but|not by much~not by much.' '\n\n"[[Emile]]?" She seems skeptical'>>.
Good going.
Now you have to [[explain]] @@.tangle;<<linkreplace "yourself" t8n>>yourself.
Or @@.mistake;[[not|don't explain]]@@<</linkreplace>>@@.You need to come clean. You've kept this under wraps for long enough, and this moment cannot pass by.
"Emile is<<if $selfcare > 5>>... kind of like<</if>> my best friend," you say.
Felicity looks [[shocked]]. <<if $selfcare <= 5>>She doesn't understand. Of course she doesn't.<<else>>You don't know a better way to explain it, and you wish you did.<</if>><<set $alienated = false>>She wouldn't get it.
She'd be @@.mistake;[[shocked]]@@ that you kept a secret. That's all.
Felicity's dense.<<set $alienated = true>><<if $selfcare <= 7>><<if !hasVisited('hurt')>><<blockreplace '"I shouldn\'t have brought him up,"|you say~you say,'
'and your voice is|cold~cold.'
'\n\n"You can talk to me,"|she says~she says.'
'\n\nShe looks <<onceover "hurt">>, but that\'s not your <<if $alienated == true>>@@.mistake;[[problem]]@@<<else>>@@.thread;[[problem]]@@<</if>>'>>.<<else>>"I shouldn't have brought him up," you say, and your voice is cold.
"You can talk to me," she says.
She looks hurt, but that's not your <<if $alienated == true>>@@.mistake;[[problem]]@@<<else>>@@.thread;[[problem]]@@<</if>>.<</if>><<else>>"[[Why]]?"<</if>>"Leave me alone, Felicity," you say.
Her lip shivers, and she squints at you. Or is that a glare?
And then she's <<if $alienated == true>>@@.mistake;[[gone|gone again]]@@<<else>>[[yelling]]<</if>>.Her eyebrows are tight. Her chin is high.
"Why are you so <<prev "mean">>?"
There's no good answer."<<onceover "Dead?">>"
"Yeah. It was <<onceover "on TV">>. Someone [[shot]] her," Felicity says.The fumes follow her out.
Dead weight.
There's @@.mistake;[[bigger fish]]@@ out there in the deeps.<<set $breaths = 0>><div class="lungs"><<timedcycle 3s>><<if $breaths > 6>><<replace ".lungs">><span>[[Okay]].</span><</replace>><<elseif $breaths % 2 == 0>>In<<elseif $breaths % 2 == 1>>Out<</if>><<becomes>><<for _i to 0; _i < $breaths % 3 + 1; _i++>>.<</for>><<set $breaths += 1>><</timedcycle>></div>The fumes that pour out from beneath her skirt are wild and raucous as she [[shrieks]].Emile's gone into hiding somewhere, and today's the day you search for clues.
And what better place than back at the scene of the @@.mistake;[[crime|...]]@@.
Right after a nap.No one can @@.mistake;[[love]]@@ you if you don't let them in.You've got to exorcise her. You've got to get her //out// while you still have @@.mistake;[[time]]@@. Before she kills you.When you congeal, Felicity is holding your hand on the <<onceover "stiltabus">>. It rocks back and forth, and your eyes [[spin]].@@.tangle;<<set $dead = ["Dead", ",\ndead", ",\ndead", ",\ndead", ",\ndead", ",\ndead"]>><<slope $dead ".\n\nYou feel the drums in your head, and there's no @@.thread;[[air]]@@">>.@@{Astrid}, are you @@.tangle;<<linkreplace "okay?" t8n>>okay?
{I'm @@.thread;[[drowning]]@@}.<</linkreplace>>@@{{Astrid}}, you need to @@.tangle;<<linkreplace "breathe" t8n>>breathe.
{{I @@.thread;[[can't]]@@}}<</linkreplace>>.@@<<blockreplace "{{}}~{{Astrid}}.\n\n"
"Felicity is whispering in your|ear~ear.\n\n" "You swallow glass fumes and microscopic|shards of crystal~shards of <<onceover 'crystal'>>." "\n\nAs oxygen becomes your enemy, she holds your @@.thread;[[hand]]@@">>.{{In and out,} she @@.tangle;<<linkreplace "says" t8n>>says. {I know you don't <<linkreplace 'want to}' t8n>>want to.}
And <<linkreplace "you don't" t8n>>you don't.
{[[breathe in]] & out}<</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>>.@@}<<linkreplace "In" t8n>>In.
"Breathe in, [[then out]],} she says<</linkreplace>>.Out.
{Just [[breathe]]."There's such power in a name, offered or <<prev "stolen">>.Not possible.
Mother Misery <<prev "rules the world">>.<div style="color:red;display:flex;justify-content:space-around;align-content:space-around;"><div>$messages[0]</div><div>$messages[1]</div><div>$messages[2]</div> </div>
You can't trust everything you hear.<div style="color:red;display:flex;justify-content:space-around;"><div> $messages[3]</div><div>$messages[4]</div><div>$messages[5]</div> </div>
You can't trust everything you see.<div style="color:red;display:flex;justify-content:space-around;"><div> $messages[6]</div><div>$messages[0]</div><div>$messages[1]</div> </div>
You can't <<prev "trust">>.<div style="color:red;display:flex;justify-content:space-around;"><div> $messages[2]</div><div>$messages[3]</div><div>$messages[4]</div> </div>Long and slender legs. One hundred glassy eyes. Rows and rows of passengers dipped inside it's <<prev "bowl-shaped head">>.
It groans as it rounds a corner onto a familiar street.The words crack your windows and shatter your glass <<onceover "television">>. You cover your ears for safety.
The words hurt so much. The words hurt at <<onceover "frequencies">> that would shiver your dreams into pieces.
You can barely make out [[the words]].The word @@color:red;''$messages[0]''@@ drifts across the <<prev "fragments">>.You're at a picnic, and your skin is punctured by <<prev "bristles">>.
You need to have them <<onceover "trimmed">>.She screams, and your hands are wet, and you deserve this.
Every ounce of evil in your ruined body @@.tangle;<<linkreplace "deserves this" t8n>>deserves this.
The room is @@.thread;[[broken|deserve]] and [[quiet|deserve]]@@ in the aftermath. Black halos encircle your eyes. You deserve this<</linkreplace>>.@@Felicity doesn't have a name yet, so she asks you to call her ||||||.
{What a @@.tangle;<<cyclinglink "pretty" "lovely" "cute" "disgusting">>@@ name}, you @@.tangle;<<linkreplace "say">>think.
"So what should I call you?"
Her voice is [[beautiful]]. Her fumes are <<prev "red">><</linkreplace>>.She's so <<blockreplace "close~close." "Her hands are so|soft~soft." "Her lips are so|round~round." "Her eyes are so|wet~wet." "Her fumes are so @@.thread;[[thick|hand]]@@">>.There's no one that you know here, and no one that knows you. You are lost in the enormity of [[self]] that bares down upon you.
<<onceover "Katydids">> chatter in the background.There are no good words to give, but |||||| doesn't seem to mind.
"It's okay. You can be silent. Just don't make a habit out of it, okay?"
[[Okay?]]Beautiful boys in all their green webbed finery. They chirp and clean each other, and let their <<prev "hair down">>.
One tucks a grape between another's lips. What if they catch you staring?Too late.
Her face is so smooth and you could tell her that you think she's pretty, but you don't.
She must be made of [[stone|the words]].@@.tangle;<<set $sins = ["\ndeserve this", "\ndeserve this,", "\ndeserve this,", "\ndeserve this,", "\ndeserve this,", "\ndeserve this,", "\ndeserve this,", "\ndeserve this,", "\nDeserve this,"]>>It <<linkreplace "hurts" t8n>>hurts and <<linkreplace "hurts" t8n>>won't <<linkreplace "stop" t8n>>ever <<linkreplace "stop" t8n>>stop, because you <<climb $sins "won't open up, can't open up, and refuse to care or love or exist or @@.thread;[[anything|air]]@@.">><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>><</linkreplace>>.@@{You okay?" Felicity says.
"Mostly,} you tell her.
"[[Cool]]," she says."Are you okay?"
Felicity says, "yeah."
"[[Cool|cooler]]," you say."You hungry?" Felicity asks.
"[[Yeah|coolest]]," you say.Cool.
{{[[fin]]}}You tumble down the steps, onto the street outside of your @@.mistake;[[dwellings]]@@.
The sunlight sears your retinas.Except for his jacket, and that's wrapped around your @@.mistake;<<prev "shoulders">>@@.
You speak a prayer. You hope he can't hear you.You stumble into the kitchen, and grab a @@.tangle;<<cyclinglink "$dagger" "kitchen knife" "sharp kitchen knife" "gleaming kitchen knife" "razor-thin kitchen knife" "perfectly clean kitchen knife">>@@.
You can hear her faraway @@.mistake;[[screams]]@@.You can't hate yourself into @@.mistake;[[perfection]]@@.@@.survive;[[turn back]]@@Your steps are heavy and wooden. You feel swollen and full of her.
You @@.mistake;[[squish]]@@ through the living room.The carpet is soaked. She probably showered. Your mouth tastes like sugar. You @@.mistake;[[hate]]@@ her for how she cares after you.She's <<onceover "stolen">> so much time from you. And she'll readily take more.
You're going to @@.mistake;[[kill]]@@ her before she can kill you.Time spent @@.tangle;<<cyclinglink "fantasizing" "thinking about" "wanting to be" "being" "loving">>@@ her.
Even as she @@.mistake;<<prev "kills">>@@ you.You'll never be happy if you don't let yourself @@.mistake;[[change]]@@.@@.survive;[[turn back]]@@You slump into the bathroom clutching your<<blockreplace "|<<= $dagger>>~<<= $dagger>>." "\n\nYour|reflection watches you~<<onceover 'reflection'>> watches you." "\n\nYou'd shatter the mirror if you were @@.mistake;[[angry]]@@">>.Your eyes are <<blockreplace "|red~red." "Your face is a swirl of|mutant color~mutant color." "Your hair is|poofy and clean~poofy and clean." "You're wearing a dress and you look like some kind of @@.mistake;<<prev 'ugly ape'>>@@">>.I love you, Emile. I love you @@.mistake;[[so much]]@@.@@.survive;[[turn back]]@@You heave at the cabinet doors, and orange plastic containers tumble around your arms into the @@.mistake;[[sink]]@@.I know it hurts. I'm @@.mistake;[[sorry]]@@.@@.survive;[[turn back]]@@You pluck a small silk bag off of the shelf. It's full of <<onceover "peach salt">>, sticky and pink.
You @@.mistake;[[pour]]@@ it out over your arm.How to destroy a <<blockreplace "|ghost~ghost:" "\n\n|Step one~Step 1." "Isolate yourself in a|quiet place~quite place." "\n|Step two~Step 2." "Identify where in your body it is|hidden~hidden." "\n|Step three~Step 3." "Coat your skin nearest the ghost's hiding-place in|peach salt~peach salt." "\n|Step four~Step 4." "Using a clean tool, cut a shallow sacred symbol|into the skin~into the skin." "Horizontal lines are|fine~fine." "\n|Step five~Step 5." "Capture the emerging ghost in a sealed container. Submerge it in ice water for three days until dead, and dress your @@.mistake;<<prev 'wound'>>@@">>.This is just another @@.mistake;[[excuse]]@@ to hurt yourself.@@.survive;[[turn back]]@@One clean slice is <<blockreplace "|all it takes~all it takes." "Then you catch her in an|empty pill bottle~empty pill bottle." "Blood spits into the sink across the|white labels~white labels." "\n\nYou wrap a towel around your|arm~arm," "and walk into the|kitchen~kitchen." "You set her inside the|freezer~freezer." "It shouldn't|take long~take long." "\n\nShe sparkles and rattles at her|plastic cage~plastic cage." "But there's nothing she|can do~can do." "She's|nothing special~nothing special." "Angry. Afraid.|Desperate~Desperate." "\n\nSame as @@.mistake;[[anybody]] else@@">>.You @@.mistake;[[win|fin]]@@.Hungry Ghost(s)
by @@.tangle;<<linkreplace "{{}}" t8n>>{{Leona Jade}}
With @@.thread;[[thanks to...]]@@<</linkreplace>>@@@@.tangle;<a href = "https://twitter.com/DrPalutena" alt="Dr. Palutena">Natalie</a>@@,
Dad
[[and...]]"What?" you say.
"Why'd your aunt send you a [[letter]]?" she says.You drop the [[knife]]."She wants to know if I'm coming home for the [[parade]]," you say.
"And you're not," Felicity says."I'm not?" you ask.
"Well, are you gonna [[go]]?" she asks."I don't want to," you say.
"Cool, you're not going," she says.
"It's not that [[easy]]," you say."Yes, it is," she says.
{{[[fin]]}}Your hands shake, and your face feels [[wet]].Your cheeks [[burn]].She's never going to go [[away]].You'll never be [[free]].You [[sob]] on the phone.You can't [[do anything]] right.You can't even [[kill yourself]] right.You don't know who you're talking to, but she [[seems nice]].She says she's on her way [[back up]], and you say okay.She finds you, and you're on the [[floor]].Your head hurts, and she puts the knife in her [[purse]].
"I'm sorry," you say.She holds you. She smells like [[strawberries]].
"I wish I wasn't like this," you say."I wanna die," you say.
"[[Same]]," she says."Life sucks," you say.
"[[Sure does]]," she says.You cough from her strawberry fumes, and you shut up for a while, and she probably appreciates that. You would if you were her.
"[[Astrid]]?" she says."Yeah?" you say.
"I'm [[hungry]]," she says."Oh," you say.
"Let's go get [[dinner]], okay?" she says."Okay."
{{[[fin]]}}You.
Thank you.